How I Face-Planted My Way Into Loving Paddleboarding ‍♂️

Alright, confession time:
I’m not what you’d call “graceful” on water. (If you’ve ever seen a drunk flamingo trying to ice skate, you’re getting close to my athletic vibe.) So, when my buddy Trevor texted “Bro. Paddleboarding tomorrow. You’re in.” I probably should’ve politely declined, made up an excuse about a family emergency, and binged old re-runs of Shark Tank instead.

But nope.
I said yes. Like a fool with too much faith and not enough core strength.

And spoiler alert: it turned out to be one of the best yeses I’ve ever blurted out.

If you’re thinking about getting into stand up paddleboarding (or SUP, as the cool kids call it), grab a snack, kick back, and let me walk you through the real beginner experience — no fake “it’s so easy!” vibes here. Just the good, the bad, and the hilarious.

Why Stand Up Paddleboarding is Actually Kind of Magical

Let me tell you something straight up:
The first time you catch your balance, feel the sun on your back, and glide across the water like some kind of chill sea warrior… it’s pure ✨magic✨.

SUP isn’t just a workout. It’s like therapy, cardio, and a small dose of adrenaline all mixed into one floating adventure. Plus, it’s weirdly meditative — especially once you stop frantically trying not to fall and start soaking in the view.

• Birds chirping overhead.

• Tiny fish darting under your board.

• That slow, rhythmic splash of your paddle…

I mean, c’mon, it beats doomscrolling Instagram by a mile.

Picking Your First Paddleboard: Lessons I Learned the Hard Way

Ah, gear shopping.
AKA: where you either feel like a genius… or realize you have no clue what you’re doing. I was the second guy.

Here’s what I wish someone had told me before I panic-bought the wrong board the first time:

1. Bigger is Better (for Beginners)

Trust me, your ego will survive. Your pride… maybe not.
A wider, longer board (think 10’6” to 11’6” long, 32”-34” wide) gives you way more stability. It’s like trading a tightrope for a sidewalk. Balance becomes way less of a nightmare.

My first mistake?
I got a sleek, narrow racing board because it “looked fast.” (Guess what? I was fast… straight into the water.)

2. Inflatable vs Hard Boards: The Showdown

• Inflatables are lighter, easier to store, and surprisingly tough. Perfect if you don’t have a garage the size of a football field.

• Hard boards slice through the water smoother but are heavy beasts to haul.

I went inflatable for my first board, and honestly? No regrets. Easy to throw in the trunk, pump up at the lake, and boom — adventure time.

3. Weight Limits Matter

Embarrassing but real:
I didn’t check the weight capacity on my first board. I’m 210 pounds plus gear, and that board floated about as well as a half-eaten burrito.

Lesson?
Make sure the board you buy is rated for at least 20-30% more than your body weight. Otherwise, you’ll be paddling a very soggy, very sad submarine.

First Time on the Water: Expect to Eat Humble Pie (and Love It)

Picture this:
The board is bobbing. The sun is gleaming. I’m standing… no, wobbling… no, cartwheeling into the water like I’m auditioning for America’s Funniest Home Videos.

Trevor’s laughing. I’m coughing up lake water. Some kid on a Barbie kayak paddles past me looking disgusted.

But after about 20 minutes of slipping, sliding, and loudly questioning my life choices, something clicked.
I found my stance — feet shoulder-width apart, knees bent slightly, eyes on the horizon. Balance. Pure, shaky, beautiful balance.

I wasn’t fast.
I wasn’t stylish.
But I was up.
And suddenly… it felt incredible.

Pro Tip from the “Fallen Warrior” Himself:

• Start on your knees first. Paddle around. Get the feel.

• Then, one foot at a time, sloooowly stand up. No sudden karate moves.

• Keep your core tight (pretend you’re bracing for a surprise belly slap).

Best Beginner Stand Up Paddleboards (That Won’t Break Your Spirit — or Wallet)

If you want a little shortcut (because heaven knows I needed one), here are a few beginner boards that get love from real humans:

You don’t have to spend $1,500 to find a good board either. You just need something stable, forgiving, and — ideally — able to survive being dropped on the pavement (don’t ask).

Paddleboarding Changed More Than Just My Weekend Plans

What I didn’t expect?
SUP didn’t just give me a new hobby.
It gave me headspace. Breathing room. A break from the endless pings, emails, and “urgent” nonsense that feels so big… but really isn’t.

Out there, it’s just you, your paddle, the sky, and whatever hilarious balancing act you’re pulling off today.

And maybe that’s why I’m borderline obsessed now.

Every paddle stroke is a reminder:
You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to keep moving forward.

Final Thoughts: Go for It, Rookie

If you’ve been on the fence about stand up paddleboarding, hear it from a guy who had no balance, no clue, and absolutely no business thinking he could look cool doing it:

Just try it.

Rent a board. Fall a few times. Laugh harder than you have in months.
And when you finally get that first glide across the water? You’ll understand why it’s so worth it.

See you out there, water warrior.